I had a horrible afternoon/evening on Friday. It started out fine, I was relaxing and enjoying a beer while watching a local soccer match. After having a convo about Haiti, Haitians and the state of the country with the director of the org, I just felt so depressed. I just felt helpless and silly for coming all the way to Haiti. At the time my decision to commit my time and energy to this project for a couple months just seemed so pointless. There are so many things that I feel are wrong with Haiti. Everyone and their uncle has an opinion about what needs to be done for things to change. The many contradictions that are part of Haitian life frustrate me at times. The standard of living infuriates me. The fact that Haiti is a country with a lot of potential, rumored to be mineral and oil rich and clearly a money maker for "benevolent" American corporations/politicians and NGO's doesn't make things any better. Simply put Haiti is being fucked by everyone left and right and not only are they not using a condom but they are even throwing a couple of crumpled dollars to her when they're done. It's a bit early to feel this way in my opinion but it was bound to happen right?
I could of used a nice chilled bottle of wine, cheese and grapes last night along with a good cry and a hot bath. Of course I didn't get any of the above, but I got to complain and whine to some friends so that was a bit therapeutic.