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Sunday, August 7, 2011

Gason Ayisyen

If I had $100 dollars for every time a Haitian woman complained to me about how she hates Haitian men and refuses to date them, I would be pretty well off.  The word around town is that Haitian men are inconsiderate, unfaithful, ungrateful, expect to be treated like a king when they are really paupers, and the list goes on.  I have heard so many stories about how horrible Haitian men are, that I'm surprised I still date them (I jest).  It never made sense to me though, why all Haitian men were lumped together to be held accountable for the actions of their fellow countrymen.  I don't like to generalize too much, and when I do, it's done half jokingly, because I have not encountered everyone in that group in order for the generalization to hold water.  I think that all men act (insert list of grievances), to their respective partners; regardless of their ethnicity.

Does he look like a heartbreaker?

The reason that certain behaviors are so difficult for Haitian women to accept is because it is so close to home.  It's like having your car burglarized.  Then you find out that it wasn't done by a stranger, but by your brother/cousin/nephew.  A relative violated your trust; it hurts worse.  Someone that you trusted and care for committed such a heinous crime.  If these Haitian women had been wronged by men of various nationalities, I don't think they would be so quick to make generalizations.  I also think that people do to us what we allow them to do.  Rarely do men or women hide their character, we just make a conscious choice to ignore the nasty, annoying or even abusive behavior that serves as a warning signal.  In my many years of dating, I've only dated one American man.  Everyone else was Haitian.  Call it comfort, cultural connection or limited selection from dating pool because I mainly frequent Haitian events, but I tend to gravitate towards Haitian men.  The ones that I have dated must of done something right, because I have not tossed my name into the "I hate Haitian men hat".  Who knows, maybe I just haven't been wronged by enough Haitians to accept this theory.

What say you dear readers, is there truth to generalizations about men from different cultures?  You know what they say about Haitians, but have you heard about Jamaicans being abusive, African Americans being lazy, Caucasians being the most loving?  Notice the pattern of self hatred and racism; even in dating?

*5 points for you if you realized that the man above is Haiti's current president!

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