Douz Janvye

As I sit and reflect on the 2nd anniversary of the earthquake that affected Haiti, I have a myriad of emotions running through my head and my heart.  I remember exactly where I was and how I felt when I first learned that Haiti had experienced an earthquake.  I was at work, I believe it was a Tuesday and I was on Twitter, and I began to see tweets about an earthquake.  I was a bit surprised, because I had never heard about Haiti having earthquakes.  However I didn't think much of it, until I realized how strong the tremors were.  I don’t know much about the Richter Scale but I knew that the numbers that were being displayed for the quake in Haiti were extremely high.  I called  my then boyfriend and asked him if he had heard anything about a quake, because I was reading a lot of tweets saying Haiti was crumbling.  I was nervous and anxious but I wasn't too worried and waited to get a chance to purchase a phone card to call my mom and other family members.  As I waited for them to pick up the phone, it seemed like the longest time period ever.  My heart beat rapidly and sunk with every ring.  I lost count of how many times I tried to call that night.  When every major network flashed the images and video of the devastation I sat in shock, stunned at how quickly Haiti was turned upside down and shaken.  I kept thinking to myself, why?  Why is this happening, why us?  What have we done to deserve this?  It took three days before I was finally able to get ahold of my mom.  I don’t think I realized how much I loved my family until that moment when I heard her voice on the other end of the phone.  She answered in a soft voice that seemed lost, lost and so far away.  Farther than the ocean that separated us.  There was nothing I or anyone else could do to help.  Phone lines were destroyed, Western Union and all of the other transfer agents in Haiti were closed.  It wasn't until this past September, while I was in Haiti that I asked my mom where she was, how she felt and what she saw when the earth began to shake.  Hearing her describe the sight of buildings falling and the streets opening up under people as street vendors screamed and ran in droves to what they thought was safety hurt my heart.  I didn't realize it could be possible to be numb, tense and afraid all at the same time.  During those three days of not knowing whether my family was alive and well was one of the worst moments of my life. Douz Janvye se on jou m pap janm bliye.

Ki Sa Map Fe La

8/26/11 10:00am

Yesterday afternoon I was feeling very uninspired.  I realized that I am not someone who takes much initiative or who is innovative, at least not in a new role I’m not.  I don’t think I could be someone who runs a business.  I do better knowing what exactly I’m supposed to be doing, on a daily basis.  I don’t have a set schedule, and I’m kind of just around everyday unless there is something specific that I am doing with the girls or unless I’m in the maternity center.  This has led to me feeling like I’m not doing anything here and feeling useless/uninspired.  School is also not scheduled to start until October.  Um, what are these girls going to do for a month?  Up until yesterday, they were responsible for cooking the three daily meals.  Now that the cook is back, they won’t be doing that.  So I guess it’ll be a long month.  

Bagay Male

9/05/11 09:30 am

Feeling kind of pissy right now.  There hasn't been any running water for almost a week now.  The director is aware of this.  I’m not sure when the water in coming, but I’ve had to fill a couple of buckets to shower and flush the toilet.  Not happy about this at all.  This is not what I planned on doing in Haiti.  At least when I’m at my mother’s I get treated water to bathe with, and I am not walking up a flight of precarious cement stairs in order to have water.  I don’t know if there is anything wrong with bathing with rain water, but I have been feeling itchy lately.  Basically this is some bs and it needs to be rectified.

Yo manke pou pou sou tet bebe a!

9/23/11

Just witnessed my second Haitian birth.  It was awesome as well.  I felt like crying, lol which would have been weird.  This whole labor thing is kind of long and tedious though.  It is hard to stay interested.  I think it’s because I’m not actually doing anything.  I also witnessed my first bowel movement during labor as well, I’m not as disgusted as I thought I would be.  It just reminded me of when other mammals are in labor, and how it’s just a natural reaction to the pushing that their body does.  The mom J was laboring on her hands and knees, and when she was fully dilated, she was grunting and moaning, and crying out for Jesus.  Throughout her labor, she was dripping amniotic fluid and while pushing she started to poop.  The baby’s head was crowning and her head was facing up towards the mom’s butt, and I was so worried that the baby’s face would be pooped on.  I don’t think she was.  When she birthed the placenta, it kind of reminded me of liver.  I love liver, but I don’t think I want to eat it anytime soon.